Let's face it--chances are good that at at some point, someone you know and care about will become sick, making it necessary for you to visit them in the hospital. You'll rush to their side and want to do anything you can to help them recover as quick as possible.
As a registered nurse, I see many people in this situation every day. Oh sure, their intentions are usually good. They come to support, grieve and fight for those that they love--but nothing can and will make a nurse crazier (and possibly slow down the recovery of the patient) than breaking a few simple ground rules. What are they? I'm glad you asked! Nurses are never happier than seeing the patients we have invested ourselves in get better and go home to happy and functional lives. To hopefully speed up the process and increase the chances of a good outcome, here are ten things you should and shouldn't do when visiting the hospital.
1. Please, please, please! I am begging you--DO NOT bring children (especially small children) to the hospital, unless it is absolutely necessary! Don't underestimate the sincerity of this plea! Nothing haunts me like the vision of little junior playing on grandma's hospital room floor! Where do sick people go? To the hospital. What do sick people have? GERMS! Yeah, if there is a germ on this planet it will most likely be found in a hospital--especially on the floors. Not only do little-ones not have the immune systems that you and I have, but they are more prone to picking up nasty bugs because they like to put everything in their mouths, lick their fingers, stick their fingers in their eyes...you get my drift.
2. Please don't bring outside food, snacks or drinks in to the patient without first clearing it with the nursing staff. Nothing is more frustrating than trying to get Uncle Bob's sugar under control and finding the family has been sneaking in Snicker bars and 2-liters of Pepsi! What about Mom? Suppose she just had a cardiac bypass, but her family brought her a big-ol' hamburger because she was craving it "SO BAD"? Let's talk about the stroke patient who has been having trouble swallowing. The doctor has written an order for soft foods, but the family brings him in his favorite homemade meatloaf (to boost his spirits) and feeds him on the sly. Not only can this person choke, but if even a little of this goes down the wrong pipe he or she can end up with pneumonia. Trust me, this isn't a case of the nurses being mean or too strict--it's a matter of caring about what happens to the patient.
3. Don't use the patient's bathroom. Because of certain privacy issues, it's not always common knowledge all of the things that are wrong with your loved one. Perhaps they have a really nasty virus that you can easily pick up from using their toilet. You certainly don't want to end up in the bed down the hall! On the flip side, if their immune system is weakened for any reason, you could just as easily infect them.
4. Check with the nurse to make sure the patient can receive flowers. Nothing is a bigger shame than to see a big, beautiful (and expensive) floral arrangement sitting on the counter at the nurses station because the patient is unable to have it in their room. Certain conditions--headaches or certain respiratory problems for example--can be made much worse by smells or allergens. This is a good reason to also think about what perfumes or scented lotions you're wearing before visiting.
5. No pets. It doesn't matter how much Mom misses Fluffy, Fido or little Pickles, please don't bring pets to the hospital. There are many reasons for this: infection, allergens, risk of injury, etc. Instead, it might be a better idea to take a few gorgeous pictures of poochie or kitty to sit by the patients bed.
6. Try to keep the noise level down. I know that being around family and friends can make for a good time (no matter where you are), but there really are people in adjoining rooms (and what about your loved one too?) who don't feel good. Trust me, no one wants to be the jerk nurse who has to walk in and ask you to quiet down. Enjoy yourselves, but try to be considerate.
7. If it's time for medications or procedures, please be polite and offer to step out of the room. This just makes things more comfortable for everyone involved. Wouldn't you want the same consideration during one of the most vulnerable times of your life?
8. Try to observe visiting hours. It's not lost on the staff that are are times when it's necessary to visit late at night. But if Grandma is only in for a night or two for a toe infection, do you really don't need to visit at 2:00 in the morning? Not only is it impolite, but it's a matter of security. We don't know who you are when you come traipsing into the unit in the middle of the night!
9. Try to choose one family member to be the contact person. Imagine with me this scenario: nurse enters patient's room to give medications, but has to stop half-way through to answer phone. Family member wants an update, nurse happily gives one. Nurse re-enters patient's room to finish med pass, also tries to take patient to bathroom. Has to either return patient to bed or leave patient unattended in bathroom because there is another call. A different family member wants the same update. Nurse complies and then returns to room to help clean patient up (or whatever). Nurse quickly becomes frustrated because she can't care for the patient properly after being called to the phone by yet another family member wanting the same update. Multiply this by eight or nine patients and you can see what a difficult position the nurse is in. Of course you want to check on your loved one--no one doubts that! But the best idea is to choose one family member to be the contact/spokesperson. It will be that person's job to call for an update, and then pass on the info to the family. This makes it easier on everyone involved, and also makes it much easier to give our patients the care they need.
10. Last, but certainly not least! Appreciate your nurses! When you find yourself in a stressful, emotionally draining situation it's easy to take things or people for granted. It's also easy to snap at people. Please know that a nurse is a nurse for a reason. Nurses are human too, and can have good days and bad days. Overall, nurses are in this profession because they really do want to help. They spend their days caring for people in the most intimate ways that you can imagine. They are there with you in the trenches--and that's no small feat! They understand your stress because they are stressed themselves--but they are there because they care. Everything works smoother when we all choose to support and appreciate each other. Remembering the "golden rule" is always wise--"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
If and when you find yourself facing a loved one being hospitalized, your journey will be easier if you take these rules to heart. Not only for your benefit, but the patient will probably have a better recovery too--and isn't that what we're all after?
Veronica Baum is a freelance writer based in the Cleveland, OH area. Also a registered nurse, wife and mother of four.
My writing primarily deals with personal accounts of difficulty, abuse and health issues-and fabulous ways you can overcome them! I choose to focus on ways to improve your quality of life-and joy-while dealing with the everyday struggles of marriage, parenting and career.
How do you meet all of the demands in your world, while still satisfying that still, small voice in your gut telling you what you are called to do in this life? How do you get to the point of decision to not carry around old baggage anymore, leaving it at the nearest Goodwill drop-off instead? These are the issues my writing addresses. I've been there, and I've done that-now I want to share what I've learned. Inspiration, self-help, encouragement and hope are my main themes.
